Chapter 6 : Crossword
2 pm: Mahindra Towers, Worli
Tara was standing in the middle of a large
dining hall: long tables with chairs were arranged neatly.There were four food
counters, one served Chinese, one Italian, the other Indian, and the fourth
soft drinks. Some people were getting their food from the counters while others
were having their lunch, which they carried from home.
Tara looked around to see if she could sit
with someone and share what she was going through, but, her efforts were in
vain. Tara was always so busy with her work that she was left with no time to
make friends at work. She had always wanted to be at the top and she had
achieved what she aspired for. But, today she badly wanted to speak her heart
out with someone.
So, today she was standing here, in the
midst of a crowd, yet alone. Everyone greeted her, but nobody cared to ask “Why
are you looking so disturbed? Is everything ok?”
Suddenly a drop of tear rolled down her
cheeks. She wanted to cry out loud, but she couldn’t. She went to the washroom
and washed her face. She looked into the mirror, her eyes were filled with
tears, she couldn't speak, she choked on her emotions. She felt infuriated.
After a while, she came out and sat down in an empty chair. She didn’t bother
to make small talk with the other occupants.
She thought about her heated conversation
with Shekhar that morning. The confession that Cyrus knew about the bad phase
of their marriage infuriated her. The thought that Cyrus had tagged Tara with help
from a detective agency, made Tara frown. “How could someone do that? How did
Shekhar allow Cyrus to intrude in their personal life like this? Why didn’t he
stop him? Who gave Cyrus liberty to install the camera in Roohi’s room? And
from where did that “Munchausen syndrome by proxy” came in?”
Tara decided to speak to Shekhar about all
this in the evening. She would demand an explanation. Shekhar better have
answers for all her questions. She felt violated, and furious.
Her mind kept processing the facts Shekhar
had thrown at her that morning. Something struck her and she decided to check
it out immediately. She rushed to her cabin, booted her laptop, and invoked a
search engine.
The list of articles that had popped up
based on her search criteria; triggered some childhood memories. She frowned.
*FlashBack*
Tara was six years old then. She had two
elder brothers, but one of them had died early. She had been a happy-go-lucky
but sickly child.
Tara’s father would obsess about her real and feigned sicknesses all the time. He would take her to different doctors for treatment, sometimes because she was underweight, sometimes for something as trivial as an inflamed mosquito bite. Initially, Tara resisted, but later she began cherishing her father’s extra attention. She started liking playing the role of a patient.
Since, her mother wasn't well educated, her
father gave Tara her medicines. Sometimes, she felt confused. On one hand, her
father showed her to doctors saying she was underweight, while on other hand, he
also stopped her from eating to her heart’s content. She imagined he did all
that because he loved her.
As days passed, Tara got into a habit of feigning
illness. And then, one day her uncle came to school to pick her up and told her
that her father had passed away suddenly.
It was only after a few years that Tara was
informed her father had committed suicide, but the reason was still unknown; at
least to Tara.
A call on her cell made her return to the
present. Shekhar.
He seemed worried.
“Hello”
“Tara, I think you should return early, if
possible” Shekhar said.
“Ok, I will try,” Tara said softly and
ended the call.
Tara too didn’t want to stay in office and
decided to leave early. She decided to finish her research and leave.
Tara went back to reading up on the
condition, Munchausen syndrome by proxy or MSBP.
“MSbP
(Münchausen syndrome by proxy) is a behaviour pattern wherein the caregiver
systematically fabricates or exaggerates the symptoms or even harms other people
by inducing health problems in those who are in their care. They are willing to
fulfill their need for positive attention by hurting even their own child, and
then appearing to care and save their so-called sick child.”
A cold sweat ran down Tara’s neck making
her shiver. The symptoms were strikingly similar to her father’s behaviour. She
recalled a distant memory, when her uncle was telling her mother, that the
medicine her father used to give Tara was not prescribed by any doctor; instead
it was a medicine that would make Tara show symptoms of diarrhoea.
Tara's father and uncle, both being medical
representatives, had elementary knowledge of medicines. Tara's uncle once had
seen the medicine that was given to Tara, and he had kept an eye on his brother
since then. When he mentioned this to someone in the family, nobody believed
him. Since, in those times, mental illness or such syndromes were unheard of,
nobody believed his theory.
But today, Tara was able to correlate her
childhood memories with MSBP. Yet, she did not want to judge her father’s love
and affection.
“It could be a co-incidence,” her mind kept
repeating. But, her gut wrenched and she knew that what she had just read was
true. Her father had shown classic symptoms of MSBP.
She researched some more about the syndrome,
its causes, symptoms, and treatment.
What she read next made her feel queasy. An
uncomfortable premonition of fear pervaded her senses. Her world seemed to
crash, and for a moment, she felt like she was frozen.
An article she began reading said, “A history of abuse or neglect as a child or
the early loss of a parent might be factors in this illness development in the
child under care. Some evidence suggests that major stress, such as marital
problems, can trigger an MSP episode later in life.”
A series of thoughts engulfed her, “So,
what does that mean? It was not known whether her father suffered from this
illness or not? If, it was not the case, then there was probably no chance that
she was a victim of this disease. But, what if her father was suffering from
MSBP?
But then, she had no such symptoms, which
could prove that she was suffering from this syndrome.
She knew that she had given Roohi, some
herbal medicine. She could not hurt Roohi at any cost. Or could she? Was she
even able to comprehend her mental state correctly?
She knew people admired her talent and
beauty. She was often called “Beauty with brains”. She did not have any reason
to behave like an attention seeker. Shekhar had showered her with love and
attention, more than she had expected.
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